how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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