the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
