the day after is always just damage control
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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