So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
