Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
