Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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