Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
