Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
