u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
