she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
