so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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