butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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