when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
