just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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