GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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