you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
