I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
