Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
