this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
