I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
