he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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