im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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