I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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