Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
