You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
