We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
