Me. At least after what I've been through.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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