My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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