We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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