i don't like sucking hair
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
