P.S. I can't hear my feet
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
