awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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