Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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