my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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