took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
