Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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