hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
