fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
