just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
so much tequila, so little girl.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
