Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
