I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
