so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
