idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
