Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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