ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
