we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
