I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
