called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
