i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
