Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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