White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
