I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
