I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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