dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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