So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
