I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
high people should be assigned attendants
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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