Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
