Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
