it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
