dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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