just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize