I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
