There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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